


Witching You A Happy Holiday

by AgentCoop



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, And a cast of adorable idiots, Andrew and Neil have no time for each others bullshit, Crack, Drinking Games, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, It snows at Palmetto now, Jean and Jeremy: Football bros, M/M, Magic, Neil and Nicky: BFFS, Oblivious!Neil, Ok actually I do, Snark, This is actually an ode to Nicky Hemmick, Truth or Dare, Winter, Witch!Andrew, i don't make the rules, sarcasm is a love language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27967511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCoop/pseuds/AgentCoop
Summary: "Magic shop?" Neil asked. "Love potion? You guys know that's not real, right?"***The one where Andrew's a hedgewitch, Neil is oblivious, Kevin may or may not be pining for Aaron who may or may not be pining right back, and Nicky is having a nervous breakdown while trying to woo the smokin' hot dude in his German class.
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau, Kevin Day/Aaron Minyard, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick/Erik Klose, Ok mostly Andreil but everyone else is a hot mess too
Comments: 59
Kudos: 273





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Andrew as a snarky witch, what could go wrong, am I right?  
> If this bombs, I will hang my head in shame and go back to writing tried and true angst ;)
> 
> Thanks /Mystrana for the beta, possibly thanks for forcing me to post this, oh, actually, if it bombs, blame HER
> 
> I plan on dropping a chapter a week :) Comments and kudos fuel me!!!

“Nope.” Looking up at the grey sky, Neil thrust his hands in his pockets in what he hoped construed the absoluteness of that statement.

“Neeeeeeil….” Nicky whined, watching him with those awful, pleading, _I’d do anything for you, so you owe me just this once_ eyes.

Neil had to swallow down the urge to hit him.

“Nicky, I really don’t–”

“It’ll be fun. I swear! You have no friends. You need to meet people, Neil, you need to see the world!” He enunciated this last part by throwing his arms wide and twirling right in the middle of the diag because of course he did, he was Nicky.

Neil winced. His nice, quiet, solitary plans of running, then homeworking, then collapsing on his desk and sleeping were slipping through his fingers faster than Nicky could talk. “Fine,” he said, reaching up and pushing Nicky’s arms back down again. “Fine.”

Nicky looked at him so incredulously that it was suddenly extremely obvious he’d have dropped it within minutes if Neil had just stood his ground a little longer.

“Fuck, seriously?”

Rolling his eyes, Neil started walking again. “Yeah. When? Where?”

Nicky let out an inhuman squeal of delight behind him, then ran to catch up. “Dan’s apartment! You know her, right? Dancer? We met during Guys and Dolls last year, I didn’t know you yet, she and her boyfriend Matt were both in the ensemble cast so I didn’t talk to them too much but you know, we crossed paths enough that we got to knowing each other better outside of that and she actually knew Allison from another show, some improv speculative theater piece they did freshman year, small world right? And I don’t know if you’ve met my cousin but he’ll show up because he needs friends too–”

“Okay, so, still missing the where and the when.”

“Dan’s–”

“Yeah, I don’t know Dan. Or Matt or Allison. Or your cousin.”

Nicky smacked his palm against his face. “Right. Sorry. Okay, Dan is amazing.” He pulled out his phone. “Texting you the address. 8 ish? Be there. Please be there. Do I need to come pick you up and drag you there? I will.”

Neil’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he very pointedly did not pull it out to check. “I’ll be there, okay? You win.”

Nicky grinned bigger, then wrapped an arm around Neil’s shoulders and pulled him close enough to scrub at his hair. Neil suffered for just a moment because it was _Nicky_ , then pulled away just in time to stop in front of the library. “Okay, seriously though, I have to study before then. I’m getting an actual degree. The kind you have to take tests for.”

“Low blow, Neil,” but he grinned as he spoke, then threw up a mittened hand and waved. “Have fun, history nerd! Hey, maybe you know my cousin’s roommate–”

“Oh, gosh, my phone!” Neil announced dramatically, then pulled it from his pocket, and pressed it to his ear.

“YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE IT OPEN, FLIP PHONE BOY!” Nicky called from behind him.

Neil just waved, then trudged up the snowy steps, wishing he’d worn boots as the sludge seeped into his tennis shoes.

He didn’t need friends, he liked quiet, he liked to be alone, _he didn’t need friends_.

He was doing it for Nicky.

Neil pulled open the heavy doors of the undergraduate library and stepped inside.

Nicky’s friends were nice.

They’d all congregated in the small living room of Dan’s apartment and Matt was giving a rundown of the most heinous plays of last night’s football game while Neil sipped on a beer from the _thanks for having me_ six-pack he’d brought. He didn’t really care about football that much, but Matt was so wildly enthusiastic that it was hard to pull away. When Matt exhausted his repertoire of playbacks, he bowed out to grab more beer and Neil leaned back against the bright orange painted wall.

Putting him in prime position for Nicky.

“You came!” Nicky announced loudly, his cup of sickeningly sweet smelling blue liquid sloshing dangerously. “You came!”

It was at least the fifth time he’d announced that to the room and Neil was starting to legitimately worry that Nicky would make it out of here alive if they’d only been here thirty minutes and he was already repeat-yourself-five-times-at-maximum-volume-drunk.

“Yup,” Neil said, then took another drink.

Nicky grinned. “Ok so, did you meet everyone?”

“There are only three other people here and you literally dragged me from one to the next and forced a conversation so I think I’m good.”

“Did you meet Allison?”

Neil levelled him with an icy glare that he’d been working on perfecting since childhood, then recited without a single pause: “Dan is a dance major who owns this apartment and clearly has a penchant for the color orange. Matt is another dance major who dates Dan and also really likes football, enough so that he has a Moreau jersey, and Knox jersey, but not a Gordon jersey because he thinks that guy’s an ass. Allison is an art major who specializes in some sort of experimental drop-garbage-in-the-middle-of-the-campus-and-wait-to-see-who-picks-it-up type of art but also she’s painted Dan and Matt naked because the art school apparently pays models and Dan and Matt have no shame. How’d I do?”

Nicky was gawking at him over his cup. “Neil. You...you sound like you made notecards and memorized them. Please tell me you didn’t make notecards and memorize them. Did you make notecards and memorize them?”

“Uh...They talked and I listened.”

“Impressive memory. You are meant for the stage, my friend. MEANT for the stage.”

Neil didn’t know what that was supposed to mean, but it didn’t matter because a second later, the front door opened and Kevin Day walked in with his Kevin Day perfect hair and his Kevin Day haughty little sneer and his Kevin Day obnoxiousness.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Neil groaned.

Nicky bounced over and hugged Kevin who shrugged out of his grasp with the ease of a particularly well oiled eel. Nicky wasn’t deterred–he moved straight for the preppy-looking blond guy that followed and attacked him next.

Blond guy was not nearly as slippery as Kevin, and Neil almost felt sorry for him as he finally pushed away, smoothing a hand over his hair and pulling his dark blue sweater straight again before quickly disappearing into the kitchen.

“Neil!” Nicky yelled across the room, snagging a hand around Kevin’s arm and jerking him forward. “Have you met Kevin?”

Neil took a very long drink of his beer.

“Neil,” Kevin said in his Kevin Day No-Nonsense voice.

“Kevin,” Neil replied.

Nicky looked between the two of them, realization dawning on his face. “Wait, do you actually know each other? NEIL! Do Kevin like you did the others!”

“Huh?” Kevin asked.

Neil took another long swallow. “Kevin. Classical Studies major who thinks Roman History is more important than Any Other History. Is always right except when he isn't, which, spoiler alert, is a lot of the time. Thinks he’s better than everyone else even though he isn’t. And is a nightmare to work with on a group project.” He drank down the last of his beer, surprised that it was already gone, then shrugged. “How’d I do?”

Kevin was gawking at him, but Nicky burst into laughter, blue liquid finally winning the battle against the red dixie cup and sloshing over the rim.

“Damn, Neil! You guys are in class together?”

Kevin finally scowled, then set to work unscrewing the fifth of vodka he’d brought in, lifted it to his lips and drank down a scary amount. “Yeah.”

Nicky frowned. “Okay, there is clearly so much more to the story–”

“We were assigned to a project together.” Neil added. “Kevin has an ego the size of the earth, he didn’t want to listen to a thing I said, and we barely scraped by with a C.”

“I didn’t want to listen?” Kevin sputtered. “You were the one who insisted on using the Norton critical for everything without even once considering that we needed to look through a lens of–”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Nicky interrupted, waving a hand wildly in front of Kevin’s face, “while that sounds utterly fascinating, I’m too drunk. Or not drunk enough. I don’t know, but please stop.”

Kevin’s nose wrinkled and he looked almost on the verge of adding more, but finally just let out a very loud huff and stomped away.

“Asshole,” Neil muttered.

“You are _so_ amazing at making friends, Neil, teach me your tricks?”

“I try.”

Grinning, Nicky plunged on. “Do you know Aaron also?” he asked.

“Aaron?”

“Kevin’s roommate. My cousin.”

“Oh. Blond guy? No. Never seen him.”

“Ok, in Neil speak: Aaron Minyard, pre-med, intense, tiny guy like you–”

“Shut the fuck up, Nicky,” Aaron said, coming out of the kitchen with a matching red cup and followed by the Kevin and the rest of the crew.

“Gonna be a rich doctor,” Nicky hissed in Neil’s ear.

Neil didn’t miss the giant, exaggerated eye roll Kevin gave.

“Alright, alright,” Allison announced, flouncing towards the couch and waving a hand dramatically in the air. “Truth or dare.”

“Oh, come on,” Aaron moaned. “We seriously just got here.”

“Then drink up fast, little boy,” Dan snarked. “You have catching up to do.”

Neil watched as Aaron raised the cup to his mouth and drank the entirety of its contents before slamming it to the table.

Kevin mirrored him, but with the straight vodka, swallowing, swallowing, swallowing until he finally pulled off with a gasp of air.

“Fuck,” Neil muttered. “Are any of you going to be living after this?”

Allison’s eyebrows raised, Matt grinned, and Nicky wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him towards the beaten up brown and orange plaid couch and pulling him down to sit across from it. “Neil needs another beer!”

“We need shots,” Allison primly replied, and before he knew it, there was a shot glass of tequila in front of him.

Neil eyed it warily. “I don’t really drink.”

“It’s truth or dare. You have to,” Allison told him.

He could argue, but everyone was staring at him, and he only lived a block around the corner, and he _was_ supposed to be here to have fun, so Neil downed it with the rest of the group, the tangy bite of the liquor burning all the way down his throat.

As soon as the glasses were empty, Allison turned on Matt. “Truth or dare?”

The game started slow enough. Neil was perfectly content to watch the first few rounds as the beer and liquor started hitting him, fuzzing at his sense just enough for him to relax.

Then Matt dared Allison to take off her clothes.

She did.

Allison dared Kevin to kiss Aaron.

Aaron winced, Kevin looked confused, and both of them muttered “No,” at the same time. They were given the ‘take a shot’ penalty, and both seemed more than happy to oblige.

Kevin obnoxiously refused to play at that point, so Dan took the wheel. “Nicky!” she called.

“Truth.”

“How do you know Neil?”

Nicky’s eyes widened, then he gave a comically loud groan. “Seriously? So lame, Dan. This isn’t a secret.”

“Lame!” Matt agreed, but Dan just threw herself back on the couch and poured another unidentifiably large quantity of tequila into her cup.

“We were in English 103 together. Neil looked lonely. I sat next to him.”

“Likely story,” Allison said.

“Seriously!” Nicky looked to Neil for help, but Neil just crossed his arms and didn’t say anything at all. “Seriously. Thanks for the help Neil. I hadn’t taken it yet because I kind of forgot it was necessary, and he transferred here this year and needed the credit. Ended up in class together. I sat next to him.”

“You so wanted to fuck him,” Allison said. She turned to Neil. “He _so_ wanted to fuck you.”

“Gross,” Aaron muttered.

Nicky’s cheeks were flushed but it could have just as easily been on the alcohol. He was floundering helplessly though, and while it was more than a little hilarious, Neil figured he owed him at least this.

“We really did meet in english class, I really did transfer here this year, I didn’t know anyone, and he was the first person that talked to me.”

“Figures,” Aaron said.

“Because he wants to fuck you,” Allison added.

Nicky slumped back against the wall and threw his head back. “Allison!”

“Boring!” Dan announced to the crowd.

“To be fair–”

“I know, I know, I asked,” she said. “Fine. Waste of a truth. Nicky, your turn.”

“Uhh….Neil.”

Neil didn’t particularly want to play the truth game, so there was only ever going to be one answer.

“Dare.”

“Uh…” Nicky pressed his lips together for a second, then he drank the last of his cup, holding it up sadly when it was empty. “I think I need another drink–”

Matt threw an empty cup at him. “Just ask!”

“Uhhh…” Nicky squeezed his eyes closed. “There’sThis Guy InMyGermanClassWho’sReallyCuteAndThere’sThisShopOnCampusThatSellsMagicThingsIDareYouToGoAskTheOwnerForALovePotionNotTheSuperSeriousKindButTheIWantToGoOnADateWithYouKind.”

Neil’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, trying to parse out each word. The rest of the group got there before he did, and Dan and Matt burst into laughter.

“Oh my god, seriously?” Dan asked. “Nicky, come on, go yourself.”

“I thought you were dating that guy from theory class?” Matt asked.

“I thought he was hung up on that guy in the art school,” Allison added.

Nicky gave a pathetic little grin and shrugged. “I was...and then I was...and neither of those worked out, but I swear this is the real deal. Totally real deal.”

“Magic shop? Neil asked, still trying to fit pieces together.

“Bad idea,” Aaron muttered.

Kevin just reached for the bottle of vodka and took another long swallow.

“Er...so…” Nicky’s eyes flickered to Aaron, then back to Neil. “Long story? Yeah, there’s a shop on Main and they sell like...potions and hexes and I don’t know stuff like that–”

“Magic shop?” Neil repeated, cutting him off. “That’s...you know that’s not real, right?”

Shaking his head, Nicky reached across the circle and snagged Kevin’s vodka, then drank. “It’s kinda real. Like, yeah. Real. Enough.”

“Real,” Aaron confirmed, in a bored, uninterested, don’t-give-two-shits voice.

Neil hadn’t been around him long, but he was picking up a distinctly unpleasant vibe, which made sense. He was roommates with Kevin.

“Okay,” Dan said, finally getting her laughter under control. “Okay, though. Drugging the poor guy? Oh my god, Nicky, normal people would just ask him out, not slip him a love potion in his latte.”

“Americano,” Nicky muttered.

Neil cocked his head and stared.

“What?” Nicky asked, like it wasn’t weird at all that he knew the guy well enough to get his coffee order but not well enough to speak to him like a reasonable human being. “He drinks Americanos.”

Kevin reached for his vodka back while Allison rolled her eyes. “Okay, so we’ve progressed to stalking him, who wants in on a ‘Nicky gets arrested and slapped with a restraining order before Christmas’ bet?”

“Okay, come on, unfair Allison, you stalked Renee–”

“Magic shop,” Neil butt in again. “Where? And I just ask for a love potion?”

Everyone cut off and looked back to him again, Nicky scratched at the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous, and Kevin finally decided to join the conversation.

“This,” he muttered, pointing an unsteady finger at Neil. “Is a very bad idea.”

“Agreed,” Aaron nodded.

Neil just shrugged. “I’ll do it. Easy. I get to go next, right?”

Everyone else nodded, while Nicky threw towards Neil and ruffled his hair. “You are the best!”

“Cut it out,” Neil mumbled, but his head was fuzzing with alcohol, and he was warm all over, and he thought for just a second, that Nicky might have been right and he needed friends after all. “Okay. Aaron.”

Aaron closed his eyes, and leaned his head back on the couch. “Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss Kevin.”

Everyone burst out laughing again, Kevin flipped Neil off without even looking at him, Allison reached over and gave him a high five, and Aaron reached for the bottle of vodka again and took his penalty shot.

**The Apothecary**

Neil chewed his lower lip, staring up at the big grey block letters across the street. The storefront was tiny–only a single window next to a bright red door-but the letters were garishly huge. He was surprised that he’d never seen it before, but he also didn’t make a habit of venturing outside his limited radius of apartment to classes, and his running paths strayed towards the edge of the college town, not directly down the middle of it.

Neil crossed the street and opened the door, wincing at the jingle of bells as he entered.

The shop smelled like sage and musty incense, some new agey burbling water bullshit played on the speakers, and there was no one in sight, so Neil started making his way around the perimeter.

He passed an entire display of Chakra candles, labeled helpful things like ENERGY and EMPOWERMENT and LOVE in large, looping letters. Neil picked up the LOVE one, eyebrows raised as he saw the $35 price tag.

It did not smell like love. It smelled like antiseptic and tree sap.

He walked by a shelf with tarot decks, some featuring animals, some featuring stars and moons, and a couple with celtic knots.

There were knick knacks, shelves full of tiny wooden animals, crystal animals, gauzy scarves in rainbow hues, little zen sand sets to soothingly pattern little zen gardens with a little zen rake, stones of every shape and size, and at the back of the store, a counter full of actual crystals labeled almost just as absurdly as the candles.

Neil had just picked up a tiny piece of something very green labeled MALACHITE when a young woman with frosty rainbow tipped hair stepped from behind a curtain.

“Oh!” She said with a smile. “Sorry, didn’t realize anyone was in here! I’m Renee.”

She spoke with an airy, lazy voice and moved with the sort of swaying, starry-eyed motion that Neil associated with art students and stoners. She was wearing paint splattered overalls over a ridiculously fuzzy rainbow sweater, and she was smiley.

Too smiley.

“I take it you’re the witch?” Neil asked. He’d apologize for sounding snarky, but he was honestly still hungover from the night before, he had hours of studying ahead of him for a midterm tomorrow, and he really just wanted this to be a quick and easy exchange so he could get Nicky off his back. “I need a love potion.”

Her nose wrinkled.

“Not a super serious kind, but an I-want-to-go-on-a-date-with-you kind,” Neil clarified.

Laughing, Renee tucked her hair behind her ears, then called towards the curtain. “Andrew!” She looked back to Neil and reached out, taking the piece of malachite from the palm of his hand and placing it back on the counter. “You’ll want Andrew for that. And maybe put that back, yeah? A burst of passion combined with a love potion might be too much for you to handle.” She grinned at him, and Neil frowned, looking back to the stones in front of him.

_**Malachite** | Transform your body with the Malachite crystal and use its healing properties to give a burst of fuel to the fiery passions of your heart._

Neil was going to kill Nicky.

“Andrew!” she called again, before wandering back towards the front of the shop.

Neil waited.

And he waited.

There was one of those tiny bronze customer bells tucked behind the cash register and he was two seconds away from jumping the counter, hauling it out, and banging on it mercilessly when the curtains parted and Aaron walked out.

Except it wasn’t Aaron.

This copy was just as short, and just as scowly, but looked infinitely more _‘_ douchebag’ with his rolled up flannel sleeves and his black plastic-framed glasses.

Neil was utterly unimpressed.

Not-Aaron gave him a brief once over, then rolled his eyes. “Nope.”

“I didn’t even ask you anything,” Neil sputtered.

Not-Aaron shrugged, then disappeared back behind the curtain.

Oh good. He was infinitely more douchebag _and_ infinitely more jackass. Neil grit his teeth, but before he could say anything else, Renee was back.

“Andrew,” she called. “Come on. Play nice.”

“I’m busy,” he called from the back.

“Andrew.”

Finally, Not-Aaron showed up again, stepped up behind the counter, and leaned over the glass on his forearms. “I am so sorry,” he said, in a mocking, abrasive growl. “Was there something that you were looking for?”

“Andrew,” Renee said _again_.

“Stellar bedside manner,” Neil muttered. “I feel so cared for. And heard.”

“I take that as a no? Nothing you needed?”

“I’m here on a dare. Apparently you sell love potions. I need one.”

“Not interested,” Not-Aaron said.

“Ok, either you do or you don’t, no part of selling shit requires your interest.”

“Still not interested.”

Neil’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he didn’t have to check it to know it was Nicky sending his fourteenth potion reminder of the day. He huffed a giant sigh, then leaned over the counter, mimicking Not-Aaron exactly until he was close enough that their noses almost brushed. “You don’t look like a witch.”

Not-Aaron stayed perfectly still for just a second, then he pushed away and gave Neil a feral, dangerous looking grin before ducking down under the counter. A moment later he came back up, holding a tiny brown medicine bottle with a flowery #9 sticker. “No returns, no exchanges.”

“Cost?”

His smile grew. “Only your soul, my pretty.”

Rolling his eyes, Neil pulled his wallet out. “Seriously. Come on, I have a midterm to study for, what do I owe you?”

“We’ll call it even, today.”

“Okay, you are doing absolutely nothing to convince me this isn’t poison right now.”

Not-Aaron clicked his tongue, eyes not leaving Neil’s. “I only poison apples.”

“How clever of you. They’ll never see it coming.”

Eyebrow’s raised, Not-Aaron leaned back against the counter, gave Neil a stupid little salute, then crossed his arms. “Good luck on your midterms, lover boy.”

Renee just shrugged when he looked to her for help, so Neil pocketed the vial, then made his way back to the bright red door and flung it open to the snowy, slushy street.

By the time he’d gotten back to the library, Nicky had texted him two more times, and Neil was beginning to regret ever speaking to him in the first place. He grabbed a triple shot espresso from the coffee stand, shot off a quick _I have it_ to Nicky, and buried himself in a pile of textbooks, trying to ignore the smell of sage and incense that had soaked through his clothes and followed him from the shop.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In witch (har har) Andrew sets his kitchen on fire, Neil gets cranky, and margaritas are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this got even longer. Estimating 4 chapters now, still plan on having it all done by December 25th!
> 
> To those of you actually reading this ridiculousness--I love every single one of you exactly the amount that Aaron loves Kevin, and that Nicky loves boots.

“It didn’t work.”

Neil huffed a breath into his wind chapped fingers, then shoved them back into his coat pockets again. “Couldn’t possibly be because magic love potions aren’t real.”

Nicky fixed him with a fairly solid glare that lasted all of a second before he gave in. “Neil, I need support, not skepticism, it didn’t work and now he is totally on to something, like he looked up at me when I walked into class yesterday and it was Not. A. Good. Look. He knows something is going on.”

“I would also look at you with not-a-good-look if I suspected you’d...I don’t know...drugged me...”

“Neil! Support me! Now!”

Rolling his eyes, Neil opened the door of the building and followed Nicky inside and down the hall to their class. “Okay. Fine. Maybe he was eyeing you from afar like _you_ eye him from afar.”

“Nope. Definitely suspects.”

“Okay, what exactly did you do with the…” he couldn’t bring himself to say potion in any sort of serious context. “...stuff.”

Nicky pulled to a halt in the middle of the hallway and gave him a brilliant grin. “I made brownies!”

There was truly nothing Neil could say to that. In no way could he come up with a word of support, in no way could he even wrap his head around the fact that Nicky made drugged brownies and offered them up without thinking for a second that the entire act might be suspect. “Alright, well...sorry?”

“No sorry’s,” Nicky said. “I need a favor.”

Neil very much did not like the sound of that.

“So, maybe, you could...you don’t have class for the rest of the day after this one and you already finished three of your midterms so you really don’t have anything else to do–”

“You’re stalking me now, also?”

Nicky shrugged and shot him a guilty little smile. “You could maybe go back?”

“Oh no.” Neil stepped sideways around Nicky and started back down the hall, leaving Nicky to run after him. “No, no, no.”

“But–”

“It’s _your_ cousin. By the way, nice of you guys to warn me about that. Oh Neil, go to the magic store, oh Neil, ask for a love potion, oh Neil, jackass Aaron has a jackass twin.”

Nicky actually winced at that, but followed Neil inside the classroom where they both plopped down at a table. “It’s not...I would have warned you but...it’s...Aaron’s really not a jackass–”

“Uh huh.”

“Harsh, Neil,” he said, but his eyes were still warm, and his nose was wrinkling, and he was very clearly just trying to change the subject.

Neil told him so.

Nicky threw himself down on the table dramatically, buried his head in his arms, and moaned dramatically. “Andrew doesn’t really like it when I’m around. Thought it would be easier.”

Andrew didn’t seem to like it when anyone was around, but Neil refrained from stating the obvious. “You know it’s not real, though, right? That entire shop is a scam. I seriously don’t understand what’s so hard about just asking german guy out.”

“Please?” Nicky asked from underneath his elbow.

“Look. What’s Not-Aaron’s deal anyway? Why isn’t he in school? He owns that place, yeah? How does he own an entire store on Main Street at the age of what, 20?”

“Please tell me you didn’t call him Not-Aaron,” Nicky mumbled. “And he’s 21. Not 20.”

The door banged open and another couple of girls filed in, chatting animatedly about Christmas vacation, taxis, and some guy named David. Neil chewed on his bottom lip, then turned back to Nicky. “21,” he repeated. “And owns a store.”

“I don’t know. It’s Andrew. He’s magic. Probably sat in a pentagram, threw some salt, sacrificed a baby animal, and the devil threw a storefront at him.”

“Convincing.”

“It’s a really long story, okay, just go with the pentagram one, I promise it’s easier to believe.”

“Doubly convincing.”

“Please,” Nicky begged again.

Another trickle of students filed in, the conversations around them grew in volume, and Nicky was still lying so prone on the table that they were getting dirty looks from two guys who were trying to sit in the space. “Alright,” Neil finally relented. “This is ridiculous, but alright.”

Immediately Nicky threw himself up with a bright golden-retriever smile and flung himself at Neil. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you–”

Neil had never in his life been so glad to see his professor walk in the door.

**The Apothecary**

It still smelled of sage and incense, there was still new agey music playing through the speakers–though this time it was notably the incredibly lilting and dulcet tunes of fucking panpipes–and there was still no one around.

Neil didn’t waste time wandering the shelves of shit. This time, he took himself straight to the back counter, hoisted himself up, leaned over far enough to grab the bell, and smacked his palm on it over and over and over and over and over–

“Fuck you, too,” Not-Aaron said, poking his head out behind the curtain. As soon as he saw Neil, his brow knit and his eyes tightened.

Neil couldn’t decide whether he was trying to decipher the very meaning of Neil’s existence, or if his face just naturally looked like he had all the emotional range of a spork.

He was guessing the latter.

“Love potion didn’t work,” Neil said. “Came back for a replacement.”

Not-Aaron’s face did not change a bit, firmly cementing Neil’s spork theory, though now he seemed to be radiating danger, danger, danger.

Nicky was right. Three of Neil’s midterms were over, he had nothing else to do today, and his sense of preservation had always been decidedly lacking. Poking the bear seemed like a fun enough game so he grinned. “You kind of suck.”

Not-Aaron stepped out from behind the curtain, rolled up his douchebag sleeves that were in navy flannel today as opposed to green flannel last week, and drew himself up to his full height of not much. “Excuse me?” he growled in what Neil assumed was meant to be a threatening voice. It would have been far more effective if he wasn’t five feet tall and wearing skinny jeans.

“For a witch. You suck. I’m not sure if you’ve considered this as part of your business plan, but spells, potions, and hexes kind of lose any value whatsoever if they...you know...don’t work.”

Not-Aaron’s jaw was so tight, he looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel. Neil couldn’t help his smile. He mostly kept his head down on campus, tried not to draw attention to himself, tried to slip under the radar and not upset the status quo, but something about this ridiculous shop with its ridiculous over-priced candles and its ridiculous panpipe music, and its ridiculous owner just made this too much fun.

“Renee is not here yet,” Not-Aaron said. “I very much advise you to turn around and leave, lover boy.”

Neil’s smirk only grew. “I’m not actually sure what your entire repertoire involves. If I don’t, will you curse me? I’d love to see _that_ in action.”

Not-Aaron stepped up behind the counter and leaned against the back wall, crossing his arms. Oddly enough, the raw anger seemed to have dissolved, leaving only calculating coldness in its place. “How did you administer it?”

Neil blinked. “Huh?”

“The potion. How did you administer it?”

“Okay, first of all,” Neil said, leaning over the counter and fixing Not-Aaron with a glare. “I didn’t administer anything. It was a dare. It was for someone else.” Not-Aaron appeared thoroughly unconvinced, but Neil plunged on. “Second of all, brownies. Apparently.”

Clicking his tongue, Not-Aaron gave his feral grin. “Then that’s the problem. Can’t bake it. Water-soluble, but heat sensitive. No returns.”

He moved towards the curtain again, but Neil stepped around the counter, blocking him. “Okay, if there were parameters as to proper administration, you’d think that would have been helpful information to, you know, tell your client.”

Not-Aaron’s eyebrows had risen so far, Neil was no longer sure they existed at all. “You,” he said, punctuating this with a finger pointed directly at Neil’s chest, “were not a client. You paid nothing. You are nothing.”

“Once again with the incredible bedside manner! Tell me, how exactly do you keep this store in business? Actually, while we’re at it, tell me how you have the store. Nicky was less than forthcoming about the details–”

“Nicky?” Andrew growled.

“Uh…” Neil grit his teeth and tried to hide a wince. Nicky didn’t want to come here in person but did he tell Neil not to mention his name? Did he tell Neil to keep it a secret? Neil rifled through his memories of their conversations and couldn’t come up with a single bit of anything useful. “Yeah?” he finally settled on, a pathetically unimaginative syllable.

Andrew’s eyes narrowed. “My cousin has a penchant for adopting wayward youth,” he finally said. “Tell him if he wants it this badly, he can come himself.”

“Yeah, kind of tried that already.”

“You did, did you.”

Neil figured it was woefully unfair of him to go airing Nicky’s grievances without his consent, so he just shrugged. “I’m just so generally likeable, they all picked me for the job!”

“ _They_ all–”

He was interrupted by the jingle of bells, and Renee stepped into the store, bulky black parka covering her top but unable to disguise the silky rainbow skirt over leggings. “Oh!” she said with surprise. “Neil!”

Neil was absolutely, one hundred percent certain that he’d never given her his name and she was still smiley, _too_ smiley. He liked her even less.

“Sorry,” she apologized, unzipping her coat to reveal even more rainbow. “Allison mentioned the dare, so I put two and two together. Andrew? Are you being nice?”

“Oh so very,” Andrew grit out without even looking in her direction.

“Neil? Is he actually helping you? Or just broodily glaring at you?”

Neil looked back at Andrew, realizing that at some point between the moment he’d stepped in the store and now, he’d begun to regard hipster, flannel, glasses jerk as someone separate from his brother, as someone with an identity, as someone who went home at night and cooked himself dinner and slept in a bed. And was named Andrew.

He didn’t know how he felt about that.

“Neil,” Andrew said slowly, lips pulling into a sneer. “You do not look like a Neil.”

“Fascinating. You don’t look like an Andrew. More like a Dick.”

Renee let out a laugh behind him, but Neil didn’t turn to look–he was too busy engaged in a silent battle of who-can-viciously-outstare-the-other with Andrew.

“Neil was just leaving,” Andrew finally said.

“Actually, I wasn’t. I don’t believe in this shit, but Nicky does, so make it right. Okay? Tell me what to tell him.”

“I will say this one more time. If Nicholas Hemmick wants something, he can come here and ask me himself. You, though? I have some specialty items that might be of interest. Magical laxatives are so much more effective than over the counter ones.”

“Andrew,” Renee warned, but she was smiling, because apparently she was always smiling. She hung her coat up on a hook by the back curtain, then combed fingers through her hair. “Usually he needs a little more to go on, Neil,” she said, turning back to him. “A name, at the very least.”

Neil squinted at her, trying to piece together that information. “Uh–”

“Sorry,” she apologized again. “Nicky texted Matt who texted Dan who texted Allison who texted me that the potion you came for didn’t work and that you were coming back. Andrew will need more information to make something truly useful. Sometimes he needs something physical, though I’m sure he can work with just a name. Right Andrew?” She turned back to Andrew and cocked her head, not at all put off by the icy glare she received in response.

“I…” Neil was still trying to put words together, something about Renee threw him completely off his game and left him feeling as ridiculous as the music pumped through the speakers which had now switched from panpipes into something that sounded a bit like ethereal running toilet water. “Nicky just told _me_ an hour ago?” he finally settled on, sounding completely confused and helpless.

“Oh I know. I’d have heard sooner if they’d just use the group text.” Shaking her head, she shrugged. “I don’t know why they don’t use the group text. Anyway. Andrew?”

Andrew was still staring at her with a frigid coolness that would have absolutely, completely, without a doubt frightened Nicky straight from the store, which upon further consideration, was probably _exactly_ why he wasn’t here in the first place. “Name,” he finally grumbled, not looking at Neil.

Neil did not have a name, so he held up a finger, then pulled his phone from his pocket and shot a text to Nicky.

_Name of guy?_

He didn’t even have time to shut the phone again before the response came in.

_Erik Klose_

“Erik Klose,” Neil said, tucking his phone back into the pocket of his jeans.

Andrew’s mouth quirked up into something that was more dangerous than a smile. Then he pushed passed Neil and disappeared behind the curtain.

“He’s getting it ready,” Renee said, with far more confidence than seemed warranted.

Neil leaned against the counter awkwardly. “Oh.”

“Will probably take ten minutes or so. Feel free to wander the store? Or if you have questions–”

“Nope, I’m good,” Neil answered hurriedly, eager to get her too-smiley stare off of him. It ended up not taking any effort on his part at all–a second later, there was a loud boom from behind the curtain, and the room started filling with thick, oily, _purple_ smoke.

“I’ll...be back…” she said, sounding a hell of a lot less concerned than Neil felt.

Then she disappeared too, and Neil was left alone, watching the smoke curl around the base of his tennis shoes. He backed up and kicked at it, but the tendrils didn’t dissipate like smoke tendrils should. It was honestly kind of creepy. He didn’t believe in magic. He _definitely_ did not believe in whatever crock this was. Andrew was absolutely positively, 100% fucking with him.

Still creepy though.

He’d backed himself all the way to the front of the store next to a shelf full of sparkling geodes when Renee finally appeared again.

“Oh shoo,” she said to the smoke.

It did.

It shooed.

It was...this was…Neil shook his head hard, then caught her eye. “I think I’ll just leave–”

“No, no, he’s almost done!” she said cheerfully. “Sorry about that–sometimes he gets a little overzealous with the incantations.”

“Overzealous…” Neil repeated slowly. “Uh–”

Andrew stalked back out, slammed another vial on the counter and glared at him. “All finished your royal highness. Don’t put it in a fucking brownie. And tell Nicky to man up, grow a pair, and come talk to me himself. Because you?” He jabbed a finger in Neil’s direction. “Are a problem.”

Renee easily snagged the little bottle and brought it over to Neil. “Here you go!” she said with a bright smile.

Neil took it. Andrew was still glaring at him, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. For just a moment, Neil couldn’t tear his gaze away.

“No charge,” Renee said loudly.

Neil forced his eyes back to Renee, grabbed the bottle, then turned heel and left without even thanking her. The door slammed closed harder than he’d anticipated, bells jingling with anger instead of cheer, and it wasn’t until he was back on the diag that he even thought to look down at the bottle he had so tightly clasped in his fingers.

_Lover Boy Asshole #9_

Neil would have grinned, but he chose that moment to look down.

His tennis shoes were stained purple.

“He’s a fucking asshole.”

Nicky nodded, but his eyes were glued to his phone and his thumbs were moving far faster than thumbs should be capable of moving. “Mmhmm.”

“Asshole.” Neil repeated.

“Yup.”

“He blew up his kitchen with purple smoke and stained my shoes.”

“Yup.”

“Erik stopped me outside of my philosophy class and told me he was secretly in love with you.”

Nicky’s head snapped up. “Wait, what?”

“Have you been listening to a thing I’ve said?”

“What about Erik?”

Neil groaned and then very pointedly motioned to his shoes. “Shoes! Purple! Your cousin is a horrible person!”

Wincing, Nicky shrugged, finished whatever massive text he was sending, then stuck his phone back in his coat pocket. “Yeah, uh, sorry about that. To be honest, they weren’t really stellar shoes in the first place though. Can we please order you boots? Can you please let me order you boots?”

“Literally not what I’m even remotely concerned with right now. Don’t put it in a brownie. Can’t be cooked. I don’t even know. Can we be done with this now?”

Nicky’s phone beeped and he took it right back out again and nodded his head back down. “Lunch in an hour, the gang, that taco place, it’s $5 margarita day and we’re done with midterms, whooooo!”

He looked up at Neil, clearly expecting something. Neil just buried his very cold hands in his pockets and reminded himself for the hundredth time that he needed to buy gloves. “Was that a question? Was there a part of that sentence that pertained to me?”

Nicky’s eyes widened and he did his silent-Nicky-plead thing. “You’re coming, right?”

“Okay, in no part of that sentence was that implied. And I still have a midterm. Tomorrow. So–”

“Neil, you have to eat, you need sustenance!”

Logical argument. He did have to eat. “Oh my god, you are the worst. Fine. I will eat a taco. Fine.”

Nicky’s smile bloomed so big his dimples popped. He ducked his head back down to answer the text, then looped an arm in Neil’s and pulled him down the street.

Most of the group was already there when Nicky and Neil arrived. Dan and Matt gave big waves, Allison’s eyebrows rose and she pushed a $10 bill across the table to Matt, and Kevin picked up a half-empty margarita, slammed the rest of it, then flipped off Neil.

“Aaron coming?” Dan asked, as they crammed into the large booth.

“Yup,” Nicky said cheerfully. “Class didn’t get out until 11:30 so he’s on his way now!”

The server showed up with another two pitchers of margaritas at that point, and the group was silenced long enough to pour another round of drinks. Someone pushed a glass at Neil and which he eyed suspiciously. Nicky bumped up against him with a “Come on, live a little, NEEEIIIILLLLLL” which was more than enough to get Neil to at least sip at it just to get him to shut up.

$5 margarita day apparently meant get-trashed-at-noon-day. Neil wasn’t sure why he hadn’t come to that conclusion in the first place, given what he’d seen of Nicky’s friends the other night, but it was still stunning to watch the amount of alcohol they could put away. The tacos came, another round of pitchers came, another round of tacos came, Aaron showed up, and everyone did a whole lot of laughing, and yelling, and disturbing the peace-ing.

Aaron sat down directly across from Neil and didn’t spare him a glance. He wore the same scowl he’d worn the first night they’d met, but as Neil watched him reach for a taco, grab the margarita Allison offered, and give Kevin a nod so small Neil wouldn’t have thought it was anything at all were it not for the tiny smile Kevin gave him in return, he was suddenly struck by how different Aaron was from Andrew.

How Andrew was raw fury, barely contained. How when he smiled, it was a dangerous thing, not a quiet thing. How every word he said was packed full of venom.

“Earth to Neil?”

Neil blinked, then looked over to Matt who was motioning for his empty glass.

“Refill!”

“Oh, uh–” Neil looked down at the empty glass next to him and wondered when he’d finished it. “I’m okay, thanks.”

“Cool,” Matt said with an easy grin.

They all refilled, they all drank more, Dan and Matt told the group about some end-of-semester dance show, Kevin whined about how much he had to study, and Nicky burst into song at multiple points in the conversation. Neil was more than content to listen, and bask in the warmth of what friendship felt like.

Until Allison turned on him.

“How’s Andrew?” She asked, perfectly painted lips turning up in a grin.

Neil chewed on his lower lip as the entire booth fixated on him. “Uh–”

“Renee says he gave you stuff. For free.”

Neil shot a look over at Nicky who just shrugged and took another very long drink of bright pink margarita. “I mean, I guess?”

“For free,” she said again.

“Uh–”

“Damn, Neil,” Dan laughed. “Those little bottles of whatever he sells are usually kind of pricey. What’dya do?”

“Asked,” Neil muttered, suddenly not impressed by where the conversation seemed to be going. “Not a big deal.”

“Last time Nicky went in that shop, he came out crying,” Matt said with a laugh.

Nicky balled up his napkin and threw it at Matt’s head.

“Andrew doesn’t give shit away for free,” Aaron said in a growl that was almost Andrew’s, but not nearly as threatening. He was studying Neil intently, mouth drawn in a straight line.

“But he did,” Allison piped back up. “Suspicious.” She pulled out her phone and tapped away on it impressively fast with her long, pink-lacquered nails. “Neil, truth or dare?”

Neil squinted at her. “Huh?”

“Dare then,” she said, smile growing. “Go back. Ask for something else. Something more expensive.”

“Not happening,” Neil said, at the same time Aaron muttered “Gross.”

“No, no,” she said, looking back up at them all. “This will be fun. I promise.”

There was no conceivable way this was going to end in fun for Neil. “I’m busy,” he said.

“Doing?”

“Studying. Running. Escaping to Canada. Tending a flock of mangy looking caribou. In Canada. Not dealing with Aaron’s obnoxious hipster counterpart.”

“Fair,” Aaron said. Kevin nodded along.

“$200 that Neil gets Andrew to come to Dan’s annual holiday extravaganza,” Allison announced triumphantly.

Nicky’s eyes lit up, Matt looked incredulous, and Dan threw herself back in the booth with her arms crossed, eyebrows raised. “Color me interested,” she said. I’m in.” She looked back at Neil and shrugged apologetically. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, I’ll take that bet,” Nicky said. Aaron and Kevin followed suit.

Which only left Matt, who was absolutely sizing Neil up. “I’m with Allison,” he said after a moment. “I think he can.”

The table exploded into a rush of furious scribbling as they calculated the bet totals.

“Hey, guys?” Neil asked. “Maybe I don’t want to–”

No one looked at him.

“Guys?”

The only person who looked up was Nicky, who immediately wrapped an arm around Neil’s shoulders and pulled him in way too close. “You’ll do great,” he said. “Just...okay, yeah, don’t do too great. I need money. To buy you boots.”

“Easy money,” Kevin said, leaning back in his seat with a smarmy looking grin.

That was all Neil needed. “Fine, whatever, I’m in. And fuck you, Kevin Day.” Then he reached across the table, grabbed the pitcher of margaritas, and poured himself another very large glass while Kevin’s face got all red and scrunched up, and the rest of the group burst into laughter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Witch Football Bros #1 and #2 are introduced, Erik needs to brush his teeth, and Neil is Neil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I DO NOT WRITE FLUFFY THINGS, there, I said it, this has been a challenge to say the least. But in a good way. In a fun, holiday, snark way. Anyway. To everyone reading this, thank you for sticking with me on this wild experiment ride. Hope you enjoy 😬😍

The coffee shop was filled with flashing rainbow Christmas lights, little trees on every table, brightly colored strands of tinsel hanging from the ceiling, and baristas with ugly Christmas sweaters serving up drinks with faces that were far too jolly.

It was giving Neil a headache.

“I love the holidays!” Nicky announced, pulling Neil up as the line moved forward.

“It looks like a reindeer threw up in here,” Neil said with a frown.

“Are you always this pleasant? Truly, I think you just made that tree wilt with your scouring glare.” He pointed wildly at a table in the corner. “Oh! Hey! Jean and Jeremy!”

There was a reason Neil hated holidays and it had nothing to do with over-decorated hipster coffee shops and everything to do with a fantastically shitty childhood Neil would have tried to defend his grumpy honor, but before he could even attempt to defend his honor, Nicky was pulling him out of line and towards two guys across the shop.

Which meant that they were going to have to get back in line again to get coffee.

Which meant that this entire excursion was going to take twice as long.

Which meant…

Hell. Nicky was right.

He was being seriously unpleasant.

Neil forced a smile to his face as Nicky pulled to a sudden stop at a table with two guys in matching varsity jackets.

“Hey guys!”

“Nicky!” exclaimed Football Bro #1 who had blond hair, blue eyes, a friendly smile, and unbelievably white teeth.

Football Bro #2 didn’t say anything, just looked from Nicky to Neil to Nicky again. His hair was dark, his eyes were brown, and he had a 3 tattooed right under his left eye, which made him look like a completely normal person. Completely.

Nicky wrapped an arm around Neil’s shoulders. “This is Neil! Neil, Jean and Jeremy! You guys haven’t met yet, right?”

“Uh–” Jean started.

Neil sighed. “No, we haven’t met.”

Per usual, that was not enough to stop Nicky. “Great! Jean is friends with Renee, who dates Allison, who knows me, and now knows you. And so now you know Jean! Jeremy is–”

“On the football team with me,” Jean cut in a little too hastily.

Jeremy’s eyebrows rose, but then he looked over and gave Neil a friendly grin. “Yep. Football team. That’s it. Just the football team.”

“You are both very...inconspicuous?” Neil offered.

Nicky immediately shot him a please-try-harder-you-are-embarrasing-me look, then turned back to Jean and Jeremy. “Neil’s new here. He needs friends!”

“Neil is standing right here,” Neil muttered.

“You do,” Nicky told him primly, then turned back to the table. “You guys coming to Dan’s this weekend?”

“Of course!” Jeremy said. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

Jean just glared down at his coffee cup with a very sour expression. Neil was torn between finding the guy distinctly unlikeable, or wholeheartedly commiserating with him over being thrust into an incredibly uncomfortable social situation with no warning whatsoever.

After hovering for what felt like eternity as Nicky and Jeremy chattered back and forth like over exuberant squirrels, he was leaning towards commiserating.

Finally, Nicky looked at his phone and winced. “Shit, I have a German final in fifteen minutes, and I still need coffee!”

“Oh how tragic,” Jean murmured.

Yes. Neil liked him.

They said their very fast goodbyes, and Neil followed Nicky all the way to the back of the line which had grown even longer in their absence.

“You are _going_ to be late,” Neil muttered.

“Nope, it’s fine, I got this–”

“Nicky, there has seriously got to be a better way to go about this!”

“Nope, this will work, Andrew just needed the name, it’ll definitely work this time–”

“The guy was suspicious of you giving him a brownie. I really don’t see how it’s going to go any better with coffee.”

“I’m very persuasive, Neil.”

“So persuasive you need a love potion.”

Nicky just flashed him a grin.

Eventually, they moved forward, they ordered their coffee, they left the shop. Nicky headed to class, Neil headed down to the bookstore to sell off his textbooks that he was no longer using, and all was peaceful for an hour, until his phone started buzzing in his pocket.

Nicky.

“Let me guess–”

“Purple,” Nicky moaned. “It turned his mouth purple.”

“I…” Neil mashed his lips together for a second and tried not to laugh. “Okay, I literally have no words. No words.”

“I’m gonna kill Andrew, fuck, Neil, it was awful, he thanked me for the coffee, and he smiled at me, and he drank it, and he smiled at me again, and his teeth were purple, and I couldn’t even say anything, like what was I supposed to say to that? Oops, your teeth are purple, maybe don’t smile for a while, also it wasn’t me, it definitely, definitely wasn’t me–”

“You didn’t say anything?” Neil stepped out of the bookshop and looked up to the sky with a scowl at the heavy snow that had just started coming down.

“Neil! No! I couldn’t! He would have known it was me!”

“It’s snowing. I hate snow.”

“You are the opposite of holiday cheer, Neil. The exact opposite. And I couldn’t tell him because if he had figured out it was me, then I would have had to sit there for the rest of the class knowing that he hated me.”

“You let him take the final with purple teeth. And let him walk out of the class with purple teeth. And presumably make it all the way home before realizing...he has fucking purple teeth.”

“Okay, you make it sound so much worse, but he would have suspected me if I’d said–”

“Nicky, I hate to tell you this, but cat’s out of the bag. It was 110% you, and unless he’s a complete idiot, he knows it.”

“I’m going kill Andrew,” Nicky moaned. “I’m going to murder him. How could he do this to me, his own flesh and blood, how–”

“Says the guy who sent _me_ to do the dirty work.”

“You have to go back there–”

“No. You are coming with me, this time. I’m done with the love potions. I am going back there for one reason, and one reason only and it’s to screw Kevin out of his bet money. If you want to talk love potion, then you can do it yourself.”

“Neil–”

“Not working this time! Come on. I’m on my way over. Meet me on main street, and come talk to your asshole cousin.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay, you’re right. Yeah, he’s an asshole! I hate him! Yeah, I’ll be there. Or maybe not. Maybe I should just...it was probably a mistake. He probably didn’t mean it.”

Neil rolled his eyes, then started stalking back towards the language building. “He meant it,” he said into the phone. “Ten thousand percent meant it.”

“You don’t know him–”

“I know him enough. Meant it.” He could see Nicky pacing in front of the building now, kicking miserably at the snow. “Come on,” Neil said, hanging up and pushing his phone back into his pocket. “Don’t make me drag you.”

“You better protect me,” Nicky said dejectedly.

“You are a foot taller than he is. I don’t think you need protecting.”

“He has the ‘magical powers that be’ at his disposal.”

“Well I promise if he spite-colors you rainbow, no one will know the difference.”

“A gay joke? Really?”

Shrugging, Neil grinned, then headed off towards Main Street, Nicky right beside him.

**The Apothecare**

One of the flood lights behind the letter C was out, and the one behind the P flickered ominously.

Nicky stopped on the sidewalk, and firmly shook his head. “I’ll wait for you. Right here.”

“Absolutely not,” Neil said, linking an arm and forcibly dragging him.

“No, no, it’s fine, it’s totally fine, it was all a mistake–”

The door jingled as they walked through it, Neil pulled Nicky straight to the back counter, and Andrew looked up from the register with a scowl.

“Your sign is broken,” Neil said. “You should magic up some working lights.”

Andrew cocked his head, eyes narrowing. “Fascinating,” he said. “Lover boy is back for more, and brings, what is this? A friend? Hello, Nicholas. Trouble in paradise? Don’t tell me Erik Klose doesn’t return your affections?”

Neil looked over to see Nicky smile weakly in return, then he turned back to Andrew. “I don’t know what the familial issue is here, but current working theory is that you’re just an asshole, so no one else wanted to stick around. You stained my shoes. And you stained his...person.”

Andrew’s mouth pulled into a feral grin. “Oh, Neil. This is none of your business.”

“Actually, it is. Nicky’s my friend. And you’re making his life miserable. Ergo, you’re making my life miserable. Fix it.”

Nicky was tugging at his arm, but Andrew just bit down, jaw line going tight.

“We’re good,” Nicky said quickly, voice just a little too high. “We’re good, sorry, shit, Neil, it’s good, we’re good, we don’t need any–”

“Apologize,” Neil said.

Andrew’s eyebrows rose so high they disappeared into the mess of his blond hair. “Excuse me?”

“That was a shitty thing to do.”

“Almost as shitty as drugging someone into liking you?”

Nicky’s face scrunched up and he tugged his arm free. “It wasn’t like that–”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Andrew mocked. “I know it wasn’t. Because my potions don’t work unless there’s already base attraction.”

“I didn’t mean–” Nicky stopped, eyes going wide. “Wait. You mean….wait, you mean Erik already–”

“Out,” Andrew said, jerking a finger towards the door. “Don’t worry. I’ll send your guard dog back when I’m through with him.”

“Uhm he’s not really–”

Andrew lunged over the counter and Nicky hopped backwards with a little yelp.

“Okay, okay, sorry, uh, Neil, I’ll be...uh...outside?” He gave a tiny little wave, and a whispered Sorry, then disappeared right back out the door.

Leaving Neil.

With Andrew.

In a suspiciously silent store.

Andrew didn’t seem inclined to talk, so Neil let him stew there for a while and bent over the counter, nudging various crystals over just far enough to see their price tag, then putting them back ever so slightly out of place. He moved on down the line, from Agate, to Alexandrite, to Amazonite. He’d made it all the way to G (Garnet: A protective energy stone especially known for protection from evil: $13.99) when Andrew finally spoke.

“I don’t like you.”

“Noted,” Neil said, then put the garnet back down and picked up a shining piece of Hematite. “Why purple?”

Andrew crossed his arms and glared.

“Is that a scary glare?” Neil asked, putting the hematite down and nudging it cockeyed to where it had been. He didn’t miss the way Andrew’s eyes flicked down, jaw growing even more tense. Smiling, he picked up the next rock. “Am I supposed to be scared?”

“You are disrespectful.”

“And you are a jerk.”

“This is my store. I can throw you out.”

“Go for it, Mr. Magic. Should I wait here for you to brew up the proper spell? Or did you want to try dragging me to the door instead? Not sure if you’ve noticed this but...I’m bigger than you are. Good luck.”

“A short joke?” Andrew grinned wickedly, then rolled up his sleeves. “I could bench two of you.”

“Is that with or without help from…” Neil paused and wiggled his fingers. “...magic.”

There was a vein in Andrew’s temple that looked two seconds from bursting. “I do not like you” he finally said again, biting out each word.

“Fair enough.” Neil grinned. “I have a proposition for you.”

“No.”

“Come with me to Dan’s end-of-semester something, something, party to end all parties this Saturday? I don’t know exactly what it is. But people are going.”

“What a thrilling endorsement.”

“So come with me?”

Andrew leaned across the counter, plucked the piece of Jade from Neil’s hand, and smacked it back down in its place. “I don’t know Dan. I don’t know you. No.”

“You know me well enough to not like me. And I think you know Dan.”

“I do not _like_ Dan,” Andrew amended, eyes glinting gold.

“Okay, okay, good, now we’re getting somewhere! You know her, you don’t like her. You know me, you don’t like me. You know Nicky, you really don’t like Nicky, but that’s a family thing, so I’ll let it slide. Let’s see. There will be drinks. Lots of them. Most of them the harmless sort that don’t stain mouths purple.”

“How boring.”

“You could fix that, of course,” Neil said. “Feel free to bring along some of your witchy whatevers.”

“Neil.”

Neil looked back into his eyes and swallowed hard. There was something dangerous there, caution tape, off-limits, no-trespassing, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

He couldn’t look away.

“Is my brother still fucking the cheerleader?”

Neil’s nose wrinkled in confusion. “Huh?”

“Nevermind.”

“Wait, no, I have no idea? I’ve spoken maybe ten words to Aaron. Six of them were _I dare you to kiss Kevin._ ”

“Oh,” Andrew smirked. “I’ll bet he _loved_ that.”

“Honestly, I only said it to piss off Kevin.”

“And what did poor, little Kevin Day do to earn the wrath of…” he motioned towards Neil, “...this?”

“Existed?”

Barking a laugh, Andrew pushed up from the counter and started straightening every crystal back into place. “Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Alright, I’ll come.”

“That was…” _way too easy,_ Neil thought. _**Way** too easy._ “What’s the catch?” He picked up a piece of quartz, running the pads of his fingers over the sharp edges.

Andrew’s eyes flicked up to his again, face suddenly very, very still. “Maybe I’m bored.”

“Doubtful.”

“Maybe I miss my cousin so much, and I miss my brother so much, and you’ve come into my life at the perfect moment, and now, we will be reunited in happiness.”

“Even more doubtful.

“Maybe I’m in love with you.”

Neil quirked his head. “God, you’re a pain in the ass.”

“Maybe I hate Kevin, too.”

“That, I’ll buy. That guy’s a dick.”

Andrew reached a hand out, palm up, and Neil dropped the quartz into it. “See you on Saturday, lover boy. Now go rescue my idiot cousin before he hurts himself.”

Neil turned around to see Nicky motioning wildly in the window, trying his hardest to wave Neil out of the store. “Coming!” Neil yelled, loud enough that Nicky smiled, then he gave Andrew a mockery of the salute Andrew had given him on their very first visit, and headed back out into the snow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In witch there is kissing between many different couples. Also between a hedgewitch and an idiot. Spoiler alert: Neil still needs a good pair of boots.
> 
> The thrilling finale to my foray into fluff fic!  
> This was a lot of fun, and massively stretched my comfort zone. Back to the angst train for the foreseeable future!  
> Seriously, thanks so much to all of you who read this/took the time to kudos/comment. <3 <3 <3 Means so much!

“I got an A,” Kevin said, jumping the stairs two at a time and catching up to Neil at the bottom of the lecture hall.

Neil barely stifled a groan as he turned, eyebrows raised. “That concerns me why?”

“Because you almost tanked this entire class for me, but as long as I got a 99% on the final, then I’d still manage an A in the class. I did. I got a 100%.”

“Kevin, I don’t know how to stress this enough, I find you really annoying, and I don’t care.”

“What did you get?”

Neil grit his teeth and wondered if Kevin had ever been punched in the face. Probably not. His stupid Kevin Day nose was a little too straight for him to have been involved in a brawl. “An A.”

Sniffing, Kevin pinned Neil with a haughty stare. “I highly doubt that.” He reached out, apparently expecting Neil to hand his final over.

Neil didn’t. He _did_ hold the paper up, smashed his pointer finger against the bright red 99% that was marked into the corner, and stared Kevin down.

Kevin’s lips were a straight slash across his lips. “Huh,” he finally said.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Neil asked, cramming the test into his bag and heading out of the classroom.

“No. Why?”

Neil just huffed a sigh.

Kevin followed him out, then followed him down the hall, then followed him all the way out the door, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Neil maybe, quite possibly, had no interest in being near him.

“Neil!”

Neil squinted towards the two figures standing in the middle of the snow covered diag. Dan was decked in head to toe orange–orange pea coat, orange mittens, orange knit beanie hat, orange scarf, orange tennis shoes. All were different shades that clashed horribly, and somehow she made it work. Matt stood next to her wearing a matching knit beanie, though his was in green. “Hey, guys,” Neil said. “Did you have class down here?” The dance and theater majors tended to stick to North Campus, venturing down to main only for the occasional class. He’d gotten used to seeing Nicky outside of his classes, because Nicky seemed to have a knack for showing up out of nowhere, but he was a little surprised to see Matt and Dan.

“Nope!” Dan said cheerfully. She was holding two cups of coffee, and happily pushed one into his hands, and the other towards Kevin. “Nicky told Allison that you had your last final today, and Allison told Renee, and Renee texted the group chat and Matt and I were bored, so we grabbed coffee and figured that we could hang out a bit! Unless you have something better to do? Aaron was busy.” She wrinkled her nose and looked at Kevin. “He said Kevin was busy too?”

The tips of Kevin’s ears tinged pink, and he quickly lifted the cup to his mouth and took a large gulp, only to sputter it out a moment later. “Hot!” he gasped, wincing in pain.

Matt barked a laugh, Dan rolled her eyes, and Neil looked at him incredulously.

“You are not subtle in the slightest,” Dan announced. “And I’m about to win a lot of money.”

She linked arms with Matt. “Come on!”

“I’ve got to...go...uh...see you guys later,” Kevin said, then turned heel and walked very quickly down the path, causing other students to scatter out of his way.

“Money on what?” Neil asked, following behind Dan and Matt.

“Oh, it’s a stupid bet that Allison made last year when Katelyn broke it off with Aaron–”

“Katelyn?”

“Girl Aaron used to date. She was really sweet. Really smart too. Aaron could have done a whole lot worse.”

“Was she a cheerleader?”

Dan gave him a weird look, but Matt just nodded enthusiastically. “Yep. Why?”

“No reason,” Neil said.

They passed a group of carolers with a giant plastic sign advertising some fraternity. They were passing around a flask of something as they sang, and Neil was willing to bet it was the opposite of non-alcoholic.

“Anyway,” Dan continued. “Allison bet that he and Kevin would start banging by the end of the year. I was ridiculously drunk at the time and sided with her. Which was stupid. Until like...two months ago. Now I’m starting to think I was onto something–”

“Totally on to something,” Matt moaned. “And I’m going to be out $30.”

“You win some, you lose some,” Dan said with a grin. “Unfortunately for you, you’re about to lose a whole lot more this weekend, right Neil?”

“Hmm?” Neil pulled himself away from thoughts of all the various ways he could potentially humiliate Kevin with that information and focused back on Dan.

“Andrew. There’s no way you got him to come.”

“I’ll never tell,” Neil said. He took a sip of his coffee and winced at the sugary sweetness of latte on his tongue. “Good,” he managed to say, forcing his mouth into a smile as Dan watched him.

She grinned back at him. “That shop behind the Quad makes the best maple lattes, they are unbelievably good.”

Maple. That’s what the awful taste was. Neil forced himself to nod along because it was...well it was nice of her to try.

“But come on, please tell us? Did he throw you out of the shop? Did he hex you? What happened?”

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out,” Neil said. “What's up with them anyway? Andrew and Nicky? And Aaron I guess.”

Matt shook his head. “They’re just weird. Always been like that. The twins were legally emancipated at 16 and moved in with Nicky. Don’t know the backstory at all really, but Andrew is crazy protective of them. Sometimes to a fault. But he’s always kind of done his own thing–he got the magic or whatever and Aaron is just totally normal as far as we all know.”

“Okay, all he’s doing is hawking crappy hippie stuff that's been marked up like crazy to unsuspecting people. The entire store is a sham.” He eyed his coffee and very purposely did not mention the purple smog stuff because the purple smog stuff was...well...maybe Neil imagined that.

Maybe.

“I’ll agree with you on some of that,” Dan said. “I think he finds it hysterical, honestly, that people come in there and pay that much money for a rock. But no, he really does do stuff. Last year, he came to the holiday party and...it was bad, Neil. Katelyn was there and he really didn’t like her. Broke some deal that he and Aaron had made, and he takes that stuff really seriously I guess. He waved his hands and exploded her drink in her hands. Then, when Aaron got really angry, he made a little cloud appear over his head that rained glitter.”

“Glitter?”

“Oh yeah,” Dan said, nodding seriously. “It was awful. Glitter is the worst. It followed Aaron for weeks. He was so furious, and Kevin was pissed because they live together and it got everywhere. They still have glitter all over that apartment. Renee tried to get him to turn it off, but he wouldn’t, not until the first day of classes started up again.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t...are you sure you weren’t just really drunk?”

Dan stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and crossed her arms, cocking her head and glaring at him. “Trust me. He’s magic. It was a real glitter cloud.”

“Totally real, man,” Matt agreed.

Neil wasn’t sure what to make of any of that, so he tried to feign seriousness. “Uh...okay?”

“Seriously, Neil. Don’t make him mad. Whatever you do, just don’t make him mad. It was the worst.”

“And yet, you wanted me to invite him to your party again…”

Her eyes lit up, and she started moving again. “Mostly for Nicky, yeah. He’s been moping around like a sad puppy ever since it happened. And Katelyn won’t be there this year, which honestly sucks, because I liked her. I liked her a lot. But yeah, she won’t be there to set him off, Nicky misses him, Aaron misses him too even though he’d never say it, and he’s just...he’s an honorary member of the gang. He should be there.”

“You put entirely too much time into keeping this group together,” Matt told her with a grin.

“Maybe he could glitter cloud Kevin,” Neil mused.

Shaking his head, Matt pulled up short at a used bookstore on the corner of the street. “Here?” he asked Dan.

She nodded excitedly. “Love this place,” she whispered to Neil as they filed through the front door, stomping snow and slush onto the mat. “Easy to get lost.”

Matt and Dan wandered down one aisle of haphazardly stacked books, Neil wandered down another. He wondered if he should be getting gifts for everyone. He wondered if he knew everyone well enough to get gifts at all. He wondered if Andrew was grumpy glaring at some unsuspecting customer in his store right now. He wondered if Andrew liked books. He wondered why he was wondering about Andrew. He wondered if Nicky was far more clever than he’d given him credit for in the first place and had maybe, just maybe, set this entire plot in motion on purpose, because Neil needed friends.

Andrew wasn’t a friend though.

Andrew was...something else.

**[8:58PM] 17346850987** : I like chocolate. And whiskey.

Neil frowned at his phone. He didn’t recognize the number, but of the entire gang, he’d only saved Dan and Nicky’s, so it was probably one of them. Allison maybe? Definitely not Kevin. He thought about it for just a second.

**[8:59PM] Neil:** That’s nice.

It only took a second for another response to come in.

**[8:59PM] 17346850987** : Don’t that’s nice me, you want me to show up to this thing, you better bring one or the other. Preferably both.

Neil grinned, then wiped sweat from his eyes.

**[9:00PM] Neil:** And here I thought you were showing up purely to spite Kevin.

**[9:00PM] 17346850987:** Added bonus

**[9:01PM] Neil:** Anything else you need, your highness? Your witchly eminence? Your...magical...mystical...entity?

**[9:01PM] 17346850987:** You’re more clever in person

**[9:02PM] Neil:** And you’re more tolerable via text

Neil pressed send, then waited a while, but nothing else came in. He took his shower, he fielded a panicked phone call from Nicky about possibly, somewhat, maybe, awkwardly asking Erik to come to the party, he saved Andrew’s number in his phone as _Not Aaron_ , he heated up a pepperoni hot pocket and ate it, he fielded a second panicked phone call from Nicky about Erik definitely, positively, improbably, amazingly saying yes, he listened to a lecture from Nicky about how hot pockets were not adequate sustenance, and he made it through six chapters of the excruciatingly boring book about witchcraft he’d purchased from the used store that Matt and Dan had dragged him to.

Then his phone buzzed again.

**[11:34PM] Not Aaron** Renee says that I’m supposed to tell you that you have a deep seated desire for companionship and to listen to your heart.

Neil considered that for a moment, nose wrinkling in confusion.

**[11:36PM] Neil:** What?

**[11:37PM] Not Aaron:** She did a tarot reading on you. Something about your past not lining up with your present. You’ve emerged into something new. And apparently you’re lonely as shit.

Neil really didn’t like Renee.

**[11:37PM] Neil:** Thanks. I think I’ll survive.

**[11:38PM] Not Aaron:** Go look outside.

Neil sighed, then flipped his book over to hold his place, unwound himself from the piles of blankets on his bed, and stepped over to his window. The parking lot was lit by eerie golden glow of street lamps, the campus lay beyond that, lights twinkling and bright, and the sky was...a sky. There was nothing unusual, or out of the ordinary.

**[11:39PM] Neil:** ???

**[11:39PM] Not Aaron** : Look up.

Neil stepped closer to the window and craned his head up.

**[11:39PM] Neil** : What am I looking for?

**[11:40PM] Not Aaron** : The word gullible. It’s written in the stars. ✨✳️✴️⭐🌟🌠💫🌌🖕

Neil grit his teeth, sent a string of middle finger emojis, then crawled back into bed, thumbed his phone on silent, and tried to fall asleep.

The sounds of chaos greeted him as soon as he walked up the street to Dan’s apartment. Neil tucked the bottle of SoCo underneath his arm and pressed his finger to the buzzer. A moment later, the door unlocked, and he made his way upstairs.

“Neil!” Allison announced, bouncing over to him and wrapping him in a very sweaty hug. “You CAME.”

“Uh…” Neil carefully extracted himself from her arms, trying to keep her from tipping over. “Yup. I’m here.”

“What’dja bring? Is there a witch in your pockets? There better be a witch in your pockets because I wanna winnnnn–”

“Hey Neil!” Renee popped between them cheerly and wrapped her arms around Allison’s waist. “Nicky’s in the kitchen–he was asking about you!”

“You told me he was bringing the witch,” Allison whined, turning her head up and nuzzling at Renee’s neck.

Neil sidestepped around them before Renee could bring up whatever weird reading thing she’d told Andrew about, then headed back towards the kitchen. Nicky was mixing some sort of dreadful pink concoction and he handed a cup of it to Aaron who promptly disappeared out the other end of the kitchen.

“Neil! Drink! Here!” He held out another cup of pink with a bright smile plastered to his face.

Neil took the red cup suspiciously, trading it for the bottle of whiskey which Nicky grabbed with a grimace.

“Oh, this stuff is disgusting.”

“Good,” Neil muttered, hoping that Andrew would appreciate the effort he took in being absolutely mediocre in his whiskey choice. He took a swallow of pink, considered it for a moment, then took another swallow. “This is actually really good?”

“I know! Better than...” Nicky waved at the whiskey. “That...swill.”

“So, Erik?” Neil asked, ignoring him. “He here?”

“Oh my god, Neil, you wouldn’t even believe it, I apologized to him for turning his face purple, and he apologized for smiling at me with purple teeth, and then I apologized for trying to drug him with a love potion, and he told me that he didn’t mind so much because I was hot, and then I asked him if he wanted to come tonight, and then he said sure, and–”

“Nicky, you told me all of this yesterday–”

“I know, Neil, but I’m telling you again because it’s a good story, anyway, he’s in the living room, didn’t you see him when you walked in? He’s gorgeous, I swear to god, gorgeous, I seriously can’t believe it, hey, where’s Andrew?” He suddenly looked around, eyes growing furtive and nervous. “Do you think he’ll actually come?”

“Who knows,” Neil said.

Almost immediately, his phone began to buzz in his pocket.

Nicky’s eyebrows rose as Neil grabbed it.

“Since when do you answer your phone on the first ring?”

“Since someone called me besides you,” Neil mumbled, ignoring the incredibly dramatic glare Nicky gave him.

“You wound me, Neil. And here I thought we were friends!”

**[9:43PM] Andrew:** Go look outside

**[9:44PM] Neil:** I’m not falling for that again, asshole.

**[9:44PM] Not Aaron** : Neil

**[9:44PM] Not Aaron** : Neil

**[9:44PM] Not Aaron** : Neil

**[9:44PM] Not Aaron:** Neil

“Fuck, your cousin is annoying,” Neil said, swallowing more pink then texting back.

**[9:45PM] Neil** : Nope.

**[9:45PM] Not Aaron** : Neil.

**[9:45PM] Neil** : Nope.

**[9:45PM] Not Aaron** : Neil.

**[9:45PM] Neil** : Nope.

**[9:45PM] Not Aaron** : Neil.

“Oh my god,” Nicky said, drawing Neil out of his texting haze. “Oh my _god_.”

“What?”

“You like him.”

“I do not. He is even more obnoxious than you are, he gave me a fake love potion, he stained my shoes purple, he wears stupid flannel shirts and stupid skinny jeans, and he smells like sage.”

“You know what he _smells_ like?”

Neil’s cheeks flushed, and he hurriedly typed out another _nope_ , then looked back at Nicky. “Okay, okay, his _shop_ smells like sage. Which is pretentious, and hipster, and stupid. Like him.”

“You like him.”

“Who likes who?” Dan announced, winding through the kitchen and reaching for the bottle of whiskey Neil had brought. “Oh god, who brought SoCo? What are we, 16? This stuff is just bad memories, guys, bad, bad, drunken memories.”

“I solemnly swear to never bring cheap whiskey to your apartment again,” Neil deadpanned, pushing his phone back into his pocket, then raising one hand in the air and crossing over his heart.

“Neil likes Andrew,” Nicky announced.

Apparently the gang could smell gossip from across an entire apartment because a second later, Allison, Renee, Matt, Jean, and Jeremy (who had apparently arrived sometime between the moment Neil walked into the place with the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad hostess gift of cheap whiskey and now, the moment that he was about to be horribly humiliated by the betrayal of his stupid reddening cheeks) all popped around the corner.

“Oh!” Jeremy said. “The witch dude? Yeah, cool, Neil!”

Neil fixed him with a practiced scowl, but it did nothing to frighten off the entirely-too-friendly football player.

“I wanna start a bet!” Allison drunkenly shouted.

“You’re not allowed to start anymore bets when you’re drunk, babe,” Renee said with a grin.

“Unfair. This is a good bet!”

“Not really,” Nicky interjected. “Because it’s obviously true.”

“I hate you all,” Neil muttered. His phone buzzed again against his thigh, and then again, and then again. “I’ll be outside.”

“It’s cold outside,” Allison told him sagely as she fell against the counter. “You should wear a scarf.”

“Noted,” Neil said. “And you should drink some water.” “Not noted!” She announced with a laugh, then swayed back into Renee.

Neil pushed past them all, gave a vague sort of wave towards the Aaron, Kevin, and must-be-Erik-Klose clump, and made his way outside.

The snow had picked up outside of the apartment, and Neil clutched his coat to himself, wishing he had mittens, or a scarf, or...boots.

“Hey, loverboy.”

Neil looked up. Andrew was standing at the front of the drive, a line of crisp footprints in the snow behind him. _He_ was wearing boots.

Because he was smart.

And smart people wore boots in the winter.

“Nice boots,” Neil said.

He looked down at the red cup he was still carrying and scowled. Neil had no idea what Nicky had put into the pink shit but it was _strong_.

“Ever the conversationalist,” Andrew grunted. He walked up to the steps and sat down next to Neil, fishing in his pocket for a second and coming up with a pack of cigarettes. “You listened.”

“Listened?”

“To my texts. You came outside.”

“You were being insanely annoying. I figured I’d shut you up.”

“Mmm, follows directions. Check. Good boy, Fido.”

Neil snuck a glare over at him, but Andrew was just watching the parking lot with a strange, wistful expression on his stupid, stupid face. He tapped a cigarette out, lit it, took a deep drag, then blew the smoke out in one horribly long and controlled breath.

It smelled like sage.

Neil took another drink of pink, except there was none left. So he pretended. Because _that_ was a normal thing that not-drunk people did.

“Last year, I showed up and exploded alcohol all over a very perky cheerleader,” Andrew said in this weird, quiet, monotone voice. “Then I glitter bombed the place.”

“So I’ve been told.”

Andrew’s eyebrows rose, but he still didn’t look at Neil. “The year before that, I stuck everyone’s feet to the floor so they couldn’t move. It was entertaining for about five minutes. I left them there for an hour, though.”

Neil snorted. “Okay, but why?”

Shrugging, Andrew took another long drag. “Nicky thought it was entertaining to try and set me up with one of his friends.”

“Huh.”

“Are you sure you still want to invite me inside?”

“I thought you were a witch,” Neil said. “Not a vampire. Pretty sure you can make that decision on your own.”

“I’m not sure anyone in there would be all that thrilled to see me.”

Neil studied him hard. Andrew’s profile was a sharp thing, but the burning cherry of his cigarette lit his lips with a soft flickering glow. “You don’t strike me as the kind of person who cares what other people think.”

Andrew nodded at that. “True.”

“So yes. I’m still inviting you inside. Because Kevin deserves to lose $200, and I think they miss you.”

“No one misses me.”

“Dan said you were part of the gang.”

Andrew’s nose wrinkled. “Dan needs to mind her business.”

Neil grinned. “So why are you sitting out here with me?”

Now Andrew turned to look at him, hazel eyes glowing with intensity. “Because I needed a cigarette. Because I’m not ready to cause mass destruction in that apartment yet. Because you are a problem. And because I’d like to kiss you.”

Neil watched him, waiting for Andrew to flick his cigarette to the ground and say _gullible_.

He didn’t.

Neil was too warm now, but he shoved his hands in his pockets anyway, trying to disguise the way they were suddenly restless. “I hear there’s a witch who makes killer love potions. You should ask him for one.”

“Mmm. Not sure if it would work. I’ve been told there has to be a base attraction for those to have any effect at all.”

Neil opened his mouth, then closed it again. Behind them, the muffled sound of music from Dan’s apartment was beating through the concrete. The cigarette burned between Andrew’s fingers and finally he tossed it to the ground.

“I think it would work,” Neil said slowly. He leaned forward, one hand on the cold concrete of the porch, one hand hovering somewhere near Andrew’s face, almost brushing against the curve of his cheek, but not quite touching.

And Andrew kissed him.

He tasted like mint, and sage, and cigarette smoke, and not at all like witch, but a little bit like magic. Neil only pulled away when the wild whooping and thumping behind them distracted him enough to realize they were being watched.

“GET IT, NEIL!” Dan shouted, cracking the window open and screaming.

“I wonder if someone made money off of that,” Neil mumbled. His lips were still tingling, and he wanted more of that pink drink, but he wanted more of Andrew too.

Andrew, who was rifling through his pockets again, face set in a scowl. “Hold this,” he muttered, passing his cigarettes and lighter over to Neil. Then he whispered something almost-English-almost-not, scooped up a giant fistful of snow, and threw it straight at the window.

It hit with an enormous smack, and exploded into dark green goo that managed to soak Dan. Neil watched her press a hand to her face and try to wipe it, but it just smeared the mess more.

“Dan needs to mind her business,” Andrew said, this time with a grin.

“Goo?” Neil asked.

Shrugging, Andrew grabbed his things back and pocket them, then stood up and offered a hand to Neil. “I was slightly distracted. Next time, I promise to be more creative.”

“Next time, they might not invite you back.”

Andrew pulled Neil up, then wrapped a hand around the back of Neil’s neck and pulled him close, close enough that their noses brushed. “I’ll take my chances,” he murmured.

Neil swallowed.

Neil considered saying something.

Neil realized that he had nothing clever prepared, that words had completely disappeared, and that he was fully ready to stand here on the porch all night and watch the way Andrew’s throat moved every time he swallowed.

“Ready to go make Kevin cry?”

Neil blinked, then tore his gaze away from Andrew’s golden eyes and motioned Andrew up the steps. “Always,” he grinned.

He followed Andrew inside, where Dan was peeling green goo from her skin, where Renee and Allison gave them horribly knowing glances, where Nicky kissed Erik under a strand of wilted mistletoe, where Jean and Jeremy sat entirely too close to be only teammates, where Matt high-fived him for no reason at all, where Kevin and Aaron angry-glared at everyone but especially each other, where everyone got far too drunk on Nicky’s pink concoction, where he had real friends, where maybe, _just maybe_ , he believed in magic.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/agentcoop1)  
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> 


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